this is for a special someone who spent the time to try talk me into my senses. all i can say is thanks a dozen times and i don't think i can thank you enough. we are different just like you said. you work for what you want. you live for yourself. you are who i want to be. i am the opposite of the person i want to be. i can't live for myself because the real me is too cold. so cold i can never gain happiness for even just seconds. no one likes the real me. the real me is too blunt for good. the real me insist on what i think is correct. however the real me is who i want to be if anyone supports it. the real me is tough on the outside but too soft inside. the real me got me into too much trouble. it earns me tight slaps cat fights and a permanent scar and also too much tears. it earns me no friends because no one will appreciate that kind of a person. sorry. i've been through too much. i want to be who i want to be i want what i want. it's not me who chose split personality and it's not me who chose to trust you to spill me other side to. turns out you are the same as others. though different. no one knows the pain i've been through and i am not trying to live in my sorrows. i am trying to be the me that others like but it doesn't work. others like people who likes to play so i play. if i had been the silent and cold me would you have even known me? i am sorry to have irritated you. all i need is seriously a friend. don't worry. i will do as i promised. the moment i said all those to you i know there's almost no way for return. it's a one way passage because we are too different. you are what you want because you can. i am not what i want because i can't. it's not that i believe i can't. it's just no one will like that me. too cold staying in a corner in the darkness. too lonely a me.